Far behind
by Qtpye123
Summary: Spinner left everyone, he blocked everyone out….no one knew how bad it was until it was too late and he was gone. His funeral was horrible. Everyone showed up and even Jimmy and Jay reconciled, but that didn’t hide the fact, Spinner was gone. A one shot


Spinner left everyone, he blocked everyone out….no one knew how bad it was until it was too late and he was gone. His funeral was horrible. Everyone showed up and even Jimmy and Jay reconciled, but that didn't hide the fact, Spinner was gone. A one shot inspired by the song Far behind by Candle box.

This will be in character POV and i dont own the song or the show...just the idea.

_Now maybe  
I didn't mean to treat you bad  
But I did it anyway  
And then maybe  
Some would say your life was sad  
But you lived it anyway  
And so maybe  
Your friends they stand around they watch you crumble  
As you falter down to the ground  
And then someday  
Your friends they stand beside as you were flying  
Oh you were flying oh so high  
But then someday people look at you for what they call their own  
They watch you suffer  
Yeah they hear you calling home  
And then some day we could take our time  
To brush the leaves aside so you can reach us  
But you left me far behind_

Paige shut the car door and walked through the grass, searching for the grave. Alex wanted to come but she needed to do this on her own. She found it. It had only been 3 months and grass was already growing over it. She reached down and yanked the grass. She got down on her knees in front of the stone, for once in her life, not giving a damn about her pants. She took a deep breath.

"Hey honeybee" she choked out. She laughed a little "Can you believe we used to say that, how lame were we" she wiped away her tear and smiled up towards the sky.

"So I know you watch over me spin, I can feel you, everywhere" she said softly. She smiled at the stone as if it were him. "Just thought you should know, I love you, and I always have" She said now there was no stopping the tears they were inevitable.

"You jerk!" she said angrily. "Why would you leave me huh? I still need you! I would have done everything I could have!" she said with a sigh. "No use in getting angry" she said calming her self down. She kissed her fingers and reached down and pressed them on the stone. She laid down a single rose. "I will never forget you spinner, you were my first real love" she said sweetly. She quickly walked away, she didn't want this to be real but it was, she had to try her best to stay strong, as hard as it is.

_Now maybe  
I didn't mean to treat you oh so bad  
But I did it anyway  
Now maybe some would say you're left with what you had  
But you couldn't share the pain_

"Are you sure you're okay?" Manny asked Jay. She squeezed his hand. He looked down at his girlfriend.

"Yea fine" he muttered. She nodded. The reached the stone.

"O someone else was here already" she said placing her flowers down to the side. Jay nodded. Manny bent down.

"Spin, Spin, spin" she said shaking her head. "Why didn't you tell me, you always told me stuff" she said softly. Jay put his hand on her shoulder.

"Even though things worked out pretty well, I am so sorry that I was that horrible to you, I shouldn't have abandoned you like that, it wasn't fair" Manny said crying. She wiped her eyes and smiled. "But your happy right spin?" she asked as if someone would answer. Jay bowed his head; this was so hard for him. "That's all that matter's is that you're happy, and you don't forget about us, and you watch over us okay!" Manny said softly. She stood. "I'll be in the car" Manny touched Jay's shoulder and looked up at him. She kissed his cheek and started to walk.

_No, no, no  
Couldn't share the pain, they watch you suffer  
Now maybe I could have made my own mistakes  
But I live with what I've known  
And then maybe we might share in something rare  
But won't you look at where we've grown  
Won't you look at where we've gone  
But then someday comes  
Tomorrow holds a sense of what I feel for you in my mind  
As you trip the final line  
And that cold day when you lost control  
Shame you left my life so soon you should have told me  
But you left me far behind_

Jay heard the car door slam shut and he sat Indian style in front of the grave. He started pulling on the grass. He laughed.

"You ass hole" he said angrily. He hung his head again. "How can I be mad at you dude, you were, my best friend, well besides Cameron, but Spinner, as much as I hate to admit it, I loved you man" he cleared his throat "I love you" he corrected himself. "like a brother" Jay said throwing the grass to the side. He turned and looked at the car and then back at the stone. "you know how I'm dating Manny, well I knocked her up spin" Jay said softly "and your not even there to help me through this" he shook his head. "I'm gonna find some way to name the kid after you though" he added.

"Another thing, why didn't you tell me huh? You know I would have been there for you through everything; you shut everyone out, even Jimmy! FYI Jimmy and I are friends, even hung out once, crazy shit right?" Jay asked. He smiled. "But you know what, like Manny said, your happy right?" he asked. He stood.

"I miss you bro, and just watch over me, and the kid, help me be a good dad" Jay stuffed his hands in his pocket. He wiped away a tear. "and I know your smiling cause you got me to cry, and Jay Hogart doesn't cry" he pointed up "but your important man, and I cant wait till we meet again bro" he continued to the car and turned one more time.

"O and I promise to come visit as much as I can" he said honestly. "See ya later man" he got into the car and didn't look back.

_Now maybe I didn't mean to treat you oh so bad  
But I did it anyway  
Now maybe some would say you're left with what you had  
But you couldn't share the pain No, no, no_

Darcy walked up and saw someone already standing. The leaves cracked and he turned.

"Darcy" Marco said with a nod. She smiled weakly.

"Hey Marco" she said softly. he wrapped an arm around her.

"How ya doin?" he asked. She sighed.

"So-so" she replied "you?" she asked. He shrugged.

"I have been better" Marco admitted. "You know spin," Marco began "It kinda sucks here without you" he said letting a tear fall down his cheek. Darcy cried as well and let out a small laughed.

"He's right" Darcy added "but god does things for a reason, I guess he needed you up there as an angel sooner then we all would have liked." She said wiping the tears with her sleeves. Marco hung his head "I know you made some mistakes Spinner, but, we love you anyway" she was crying hard now. Marco wrapped her in a warm hug and he looked up at the sky.

"you were always there spin, even when we had our little arguments, you were always my friend, and I miss you so much" Marco said with a sigh. Darcy pulled away and looked down at the ground.

"We aren't the only ones too miss him" she said with a smile. "See you big goof, every body loves you" she said with a small laugh. Marco nodded in agreement. He looked at her.

"Come on, lets go, we can go to the dot or something" He said waving good bye as if Spinner was there. She nodded and blew a kiss before the two walked away.

_Now maybe I didn't mean to treat you oh so bad  
But I did it anyway  
Now maybe baby some would say you're left with what you had  
But you couldn't share the pain  
I said times have changed your friends  
They come and watch you crumble to the ground  
They watch you suffer  
Yeah, they hold you down  
Hold you down  
Now maybe oh oh, maybe  
I didn't mean to treat you bad  
_

"You gonna be okay?" Jimmy's dad asked. Jimmy nodded. He slowly got out of the car and walked over. Yes he walked now, with the help of a cane but, walking none the less.

He found it, it wasn't easy to miss, all the flowers around it. He smiled and slowly made his way there. He stopped. He dropped the flower down.

"Didn't mean to just throw it down on ya, but I haven't exactly mastered the whole bending down thing" He laughed "But I'm walkin dude!" Jimmy said happily.

"Thanks to you I'm sure!" Jimmy pointed to the sky. "I'm sure you put in a few words" he laughed.

"O and I don't know if you knew or not but Jay and I are cool, we figured past was the past and what the hell, and we both miss you, everyone misses you, I think you really impacted a lot of people dude, you may not have realized it but you did" Jimmy was fighting the tears. "You know I thought we would never be friends again, ever, I mean how could I forgive you, but to be honest I had this hole in my heart, missing and then we became friends again and it was like I got my brother back," Jimmy leaned against his cane, he was crying now.

"and then you got sick, and it was like no way, you cant be sick your spinner, Spinner is invincible!" jimmy said talking away "And then you just stopped talking to me, to everyone, I don't know if you wanted to protect us or what, but it really hurt, bad, you abandoned us!" Jimmy was angry, he was so upset, he had never hurt this bad before. "all you had to do was call, and when I looked at my phone and saw your house calling, I thought you were coming to your senses, but it was your mom, to tell me you were gone," jimmy shook his head. He let out a loud scream.

"DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT DID TO ME?" he yelled. "That shit hurt worse then any bullet, then any fight!" Jimmy sighed. "But I can't be mad at you, you were my best friend and I love you, and I miss you" Jimmy wiped away his tears. "Ugh and I have to use this ridiculous thing" jimmy wiggled the cane. "but it's better then the chair right" Jimmy sighed. "It's getting dark and I need to get home" he said bowing his head one more time. "Spinner, Gavin" he started "I love you, thank you for every memory, every fight, every laugh, you made my life dude, I will never, ever forget you" With that Jimmy turned and walked away.

_But you left me far behind  
Left me far behind  
Left me far behind..._

**A/N**

**So sorry that it was sad...I just put that song on my ipod and it remind my mom and I about my uncle who passed away...the song is amazing too, if you dont know it...look it up take a listen...it's kinda 90's grunge...but it a great song and makes me cry practically everytime i hear it...welll hope you guys liked it...if not sorry...but please be nice!! thanks!**


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